you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
