no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
