That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize