puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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