i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
