Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
