sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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