I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize