peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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