I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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