let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
