her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just had sex on a roof
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
