i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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