I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
