i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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