if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
