Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
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