Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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