Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
