piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
