I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
