yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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