I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
