my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
