I need help removing her.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
