Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
