This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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