There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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