I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
