a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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