There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
