she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
