tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
This house was built for laser tag.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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