he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
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