i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
