I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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