Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
