I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
