yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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