Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
