i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
