my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
