Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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