I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
