there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
