she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
