i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize