One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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