id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
