I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
His nipple licking is glorious
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