Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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