Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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