The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
