So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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