Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
