see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
