It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Quick, to the slutcave!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize