How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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