I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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