I wish life had little blips of pornography
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We're too hungover to prance.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
