did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
