i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
